You see the messaging everywhere. Stay positive and you can literally change your life. But, does it really work?
The answer is both yes and no. The myth is that you can change thought patterns by simply cranking out a few happy mantras per day, and poof!! - your best life just appears! The reality is that most of our patterns of thought, many of which are negative, were developed and honed over a considerable amount of time.
So, how do you shift more positivity into your thoughts and make it truly work for you?
Over time, I came to understand there were 5 essential components to incorporating positivity that I'd like to share with you that might help you understand what to focus on and what to avoid when working toward your positivity goals.
1) Look at the language you currently use in your everyday thoughts.
I’ll bet you aren’t even aware of the amount of negative words and phrases you use daily that can derail positivity in a flash. Do you use any of these negative limiting words or phrases?
I can’t (or won’t) because___________.
_______ has to happen before I can start on that.
I’ll never get _____because I need ________.
I don’t know how that could possibly work.
I don’t have enough ______ to do what I want to do.
Words, whether it’s in the form of thought or physically voiced, are truly powerful. Science has proven that our thoughts can literally create powerful cellular changes in your brain and body. That energy can limit you or open you up to a whole new world of possibility. Which one would you rather experience?
Using negative-oriented words or phrases like I can’t, I won’t, I don’t have or will never get, are all self-defeating language that will shut you down right out of the gate. They need to be re-tuned so your language is in alignment with your ultimate goals because that’s when the floodgate doors start opening. You may not know exactly how your dream will be fulfilled right now, and that’s ok. It will come in time as long as you keep your focus and your language positive.
2) Positive thinking is not a part-time gig.
Every thought you have is literally an opportunity for you to choose what you truly want in your life and how you want to live it. If you mess up on one thought, there’s always another one right around the corner that you can successfully knock out of the park. Positivity is created in your life through consistent thoughts, actions and energy, so it’s important that you be patient and approach it as an ongoing process without self-judgement if you fall off the wagon here and there.
There will be days where positivity is the last thing you are feeling and it’s easier to retreat to the old habits of feeling victimized, frustrated, angry and/or resentful. That’s a natural and human response, but it doesn’t have to last more than a second if you truly want a different kind of life.
Those are the days you’ve got to dig deep and consistently and purposefully counter every negative thought with a positive one, even if your emotions aren’t reflecting it in the moment. Seeing it as a learned behavior allows you to stand back and acknowledge that it just takes time to re-train the mind. Keep your eye on the end-result! Your soul deserves to dance to a happier, healthier tune.
3) Creating more positivity in your life isn’t dependent on whether other people change their attitudes or behavior towards you or around you.
You may want others to join you on your joyful bandwagon, but here’s a newsflash! This isn’t about other people, this is solely about you and how you view yourself and the world.
But, here’s the good news! A life lived through consistent positivity via thoughts, actions and energy is infectious! People will see how happy you are, the wonderful things you are creating in your life and want to get in on the action! So, instead of looking for change in others, lead by example!
4) Positivity is about empowerment and healing, but it can’t do its magic if you’re simply using it as a mask for old wounds you won’t address.
I had to personally learn this lesson the hard way. For years, I was frustrated from working hard to incorporate positivity into my life, but still wasn’t seeing the shift I desired out of my old, unwanted emotions.
Here’s what I had to finally realize. You can’t hide from the lessons you are meant to learn in this lifetime. If things are continuing to get worse around you, it’s just the Universe's way of drawing your attention to an area that needs healing. Trust me, masking your emotions by trying to fake positive emotions won't work long term and will come back and bite you.
Instead, shift your perspective on the emotions you want to avoid and see them for what they are; a heads-up call that an old wound is calling to be healed. It's time!
Think of emotions like you would a thermometer. When you have a fever, your body temperature goes up and you feel awful. A thermometer verifies there’s an infection in the body that needs attention. Emotions work the same way. Avoiding emotions is like ignoring a fever. It will only continue to get worse until you take the steps you need to release it and heal.
5) Positivity requires Hope.
Trying to incorporate positivity into your life without Hope is like expecting to drive a car without gasoline. Hope is the fuel that energizes your efforts to bring positive thoughts into action.
It’s also about knowing that there is a greater Universal power outside of yourself that supports and encourages you on your path toward the things that matter most. One way to maintain Hope is to ensure you keep a steady, daily stream of positive messaging around you.
Maybe you find your healing messaging through religious teachings or you’re more spiritual in nature. It doesn’t matter what the source is, just pick whichever one you’re most drawn to. There are plenty of positive and supportive books, TV shows, YouTube video’s, prayer groups, classes and support workshops out there to match any interest or belief system. I always find that the right source will magically appear at the right time with the messaging I need to hear most.
I also encourage my clients to pay attention to the people they spend time with and ensure they are like-minded and positive people they can talk openly with about their goals and challenges. If you surround yourself with ‘energy vampires’ who drain you with their negative talk and perpetual problems, but have no true interest in changing their circumstances, then maybe it’s time for a change?
Whatever path you choose to personally create your new life of positivity, always set yourself up for success by getting clear on what you really want in life. So, what’s most important to you in the here and now?
What would it mean for you to receive it through true positivity in your life?
I’d love to hear your comments and feedback below if you’d like to share it!